I was supposed to go for tuition today and I didn't. What a bitch. Sigh, one moment, I stayed up at night just to complete the homework of mine and next moment I slept right through tuition. How dumb can I get? How stupid can I get? Sigh. I realize, knowing that you need to change is easy. Taking up the courage to actually change yourself is difficult. What's the point of just telling everything the things you think it is right when you're not even doing it? What's the point for people to think that"Hey! You changed!"? When deep down in your heart, did not change one tiny bit. No point staying in the cushion, everything is safe ball. Come out to the world. Things aren't as pleasant as you think it is, but at the end of the day, you learn the most.
Sweet loving escape.
5:41 PM
Monday, June 21, 2004
Had only 4 hours of sleep last night because my dad finally got the table lamp and I decided not to waste time and do my work. Got up at 8 to get ready for tuition and off I went for tuition. Tuition today was extremly long. Imagine sitting down and face physics for 2 and 1/2 hours? That's what I went through. Mental torture. I'm going to have tuition again tomorrow. What rubbish is this may I ask? I hardly touched my school homework and that tuition teacher of mine is giving me so much homework? I appreciate her for that but I need my social life too right? Sigh, I forgot. My priorty now is to study and not my social life. Sigh, I just need some break and I know I've been breaking for a long time but. Sigh. This is not me, this is not the Deborah I know. The Deborah I know only care about playing. At the same time, I know I can't afford to play this year. Think about the needs and wants thing. I need to concentrate on my studies and I want to play. What am I supposed to do? I know, study right? I also know I should balance my time out, it all boils down to time management. Sigh. :(
Sweet loving escape.
12:05 PM
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Boredom. Boredom of the century. Clay's back in Singapore, went to meet her yesterday. I went down to monks and yes, it's boring as usual. Somehow or another, I feel that whenever I'm down at Boat Quay, I'll follow a time table? Not really enjoying myself so much in the club and will be slacking outside for quite some time. Next, I'll feel like going in because I don't think I pay money to sit outside to rot right? I'll try my best to have fun in there and when the club close, we'll head towards Golden Cafe. We'll eat and drink, then take a cab home. That's it! Oh! There was a fight at Boat Quay last night or rather this early morning. Some malay guys beated one chinese guy up until his body was all soft and was lying in the middle of the road? Think it's bad enough? No, not as yet. The malay guys ran off at first and then came back with planks or thinks like that looking for the chinese guy and company. Gosh. That sight of it is so scary.. I've NEVER in my entire life seen such a scary fight. Argh. Clay gave me some red thing, lighter and some beaded necklace. Thanks sweetie. I LOVE the red thing! It's so cute! My gosh. Haha.. It's supposed to be a stress ball I think. Well, who cares. It's cute and that's the bottomline. Hmm, maybe I should give it a name. Well, not exactly sure about it. I'll think about it later. As for now, TA!
Sweet loving escape.
3:44 PM
Thursday, June 17, 2004
-smiles- Just went to the dentist today. My gums bled like it never bled before. Ha, blame it on myself for not brushing my teeth the right way. Oh well. Anyway, after that, I went to school for sizzle's dance practice. Just realised that I have alot of things to do for dance and I haven't been doing. Gosh, why do I sense danger? Ha.. Hmm, I am supposed to be doing my homework now, so ta!
Sweet loving escape.
2:58 PM
You're Ron Weasley! You're a great person to be around. You're funny and intelligent but you also get nervous easily, not to mention scared. You also let people get you down too easily...Don't worry about it if people don't know you. Just be yourself.
Just woke up from a long sleep. Slept for like 19 hours? Haha, can't exactly help it either. Went for a 3 days 2 nights guides camp in school, didn't get much sleep. Gosh, I wouldn't comment on the camp actually. Not as if it is really bad or anything, it's just that I just don't feel like it. Hmm, I miss the outside world so much during camp. I miss central, ha., I mean I'm always there that like I miss it during camp. Ha, obviously, I missed my baby. Anyway, I think I'm still feeling quite stone. Maybe the time isn't right for me to blog now. Ta!
Sweet loving escape.
1:29 PM
Thursday, June 03, 2004
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just confused. Why is it that things just don't seem happy anymore? Are we just not meant to be together? I know I'm being demanding and all. All I want is for you to put down your pride for me. I just want to know that you're willing to do so. I just want to know. But you didn't. You didn't want to. Sigh, oh well, what can I say? I have had my own share of fun, maybe I should let you have your own too. Maybe I shall not be selfish anymore. Maybe Maybe. I don't know.
--
If one day God comes up to me, I'll ask him:"Will I enjoy after all the pain? Will I be condemned because I complain so much during the sufferings I have to go through?"
I'll pray nights after nights for his enlightment.
pain in sufferings
Sweet loving escape.
12:39 AM
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Hmm, everything went well. We're back together. Happiness. It's a terror experience, one that I'll never forget. Oh well, all is over.Went to the bugis temple today, it was so -censored- crowded. Hmm, am I doing anything unpleasant if i'm talking about a holy place and I curse it? Hmm, I don't think it's right. Ok, it's censored. Hmm, went to the temple and went to Parco to get a story book. Got a lipstick too. Spent a total of 32 bucks from my mother. I wanted to get a pair of shades, but my mother laughed at me when I tried it on. I thought it suited me. Oh well, what can I say? It's her money. Got home around 5am this morning, woke up at 9 plus. Did I ever mention that shopping is good? It did wake me up, but the moment I reached home, I fell asleep. WOke up at around 9 plus after that. Missed my Sun Wukong. Sob. Oh well, I'm going to buy the vcd. I hope it's not too ex. Ta!
Sweet loving escape.
10:34 PM
THE ONE
deborah
bisexual
turning 20 on 17th Decemeber Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Film and Media Studies myspace. ::
friendster.::