Interesting weekend/early week I've got. I finally ended things with mel---. A load off my shoulders. (: He's feeling lousy, this I know. Just hope everything will be better for him soon and perhaps he should stop lying to people as well as himself. Oh well. Went to town with Desmond and class to do the guerilla theatre class. MY GOSH. I swear it was fun. Eating with my hands was like amazing. Desmond said that their culture is to use their right hand to eat because they use their left hand to clean after doing their business(big). I replied "But I use my right hand." He said"They use their left hand without toilet paper." OMG. IMAGINE THAT SCENE! -shrugs. Sick I would say. I would NEVER use my bare hands to clean. Though it's coming out of my body, but still? gosh. This week is his last week. ): I like him as a lecturer. He's got style. (: Finished my animation project and submited it. I'm left with my script which I would be doing tomorrow. I will have to do it tomorrow. (: I am a geek in training. I'm going to buy the Film History Textbook tomorrow and study for the test next week. I figure I'm going to be super lost when I'm studying. So I must start early. School and work will be my main goal now. Holiday is coming soon but I have to film during this period. ): Never mind. I'll just study hard and work hard. I believe I can do it. So for the time being, Deborah will be free of relationship problems. Simply because I can't be bothered and I see no need and I don't want. So sweet and simple. I like my lifestyle now. (:
Sweet loving escape.
12:23 AM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Yesterday, Deborah was spotted at Club Momo. Deborah was also spotted sleeping in the club when the music was BLASTING house. Deborah was clean of hook ups yesterday. Deborah was a happy girl yesterday after eating Prata. -- I slept like a pig since then. Haha! I woke up at 8pm this evening. Like oh my gosh la. Haha! Slept like no one's business. Was doing my Camera and Lighting project just now and I just finished. I'll be developing the photos tomorrow. (: There's a couple of blur shots but I'm not going to bother much la. Sigh. What to do? The subject has already been cut up and thrown in the dustbin. I can't expect people to be hugging it again right? Besides, even if they are willing to, I can't reverse the fact that it's contaminated with charcoal and cut up with the cotton all out. Oh well. I'll just have to do what I can do. Which is nothing. Haha. Poh gave me her hamsters. (: This means I have hamsters now. (: I transfered them into another cage and I think they are happy in it. I must look after them well. Because afterall, these hamsters has got emotional meanings for her. So I must look after them well. Plus, I've been wanting to get hamsters so I must look after them well. I need to ask if they are like girl and guy, I want them to mate. Haha! I want to see baby hamsters! (: I need to open shop tomorrow. I'm kindna not looking forward to it. I think I still want my sleep and all. Haha. Oh well. Never mind, I'll just do my assignments there. So I'll have to bring my laptop there. Hopefully, I'll be able to complete my assignments and still have time to watch dvd. There's a dvd player in the shop now. (: Though the screen is small, it's better than nothing right?! Haha! I am looking for the latest Harry Potter Vcd/Dvd. I don't want to just have it to watch it. I want to have it and KEEP it. Haha. Anyone knows where can I get it? If I'm rich perhaps I'll get the original one, that's if I'm rich. My mother wants me to pay half of my bills, I have to pay my brother half of the mother's day present. I've been advancing alot too. So I'll be tight. Mahjong people pay me soon? Sorry. But thanks. (: I didn't mean to scam, but the money will come in handy. I'm going to look for a vcd to watch now. There'll be Popiah session tomorrow at my house! Sigh, too bad I'll be away for work. Or else I'll eat like anything at home. Hmm, but then again, maybe it's good that I'm away at work. Haha. Then I wouldn't need to eat so much. Haha! ta!
Sweet loving escape.
11:16 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
My mum asked me to quit my job if i have to. I am seriously considering. Sigh. I never knew you were like that. Whatever happened to your backbone? Disappeared into thin air? Not my lost girl. Not my lost. I'm glad to have a friend who is willing to stand up for me in such a scenerio. Thanks girl. (: -- Not sure what I'm blogging about? Haha. Oh well. Anyhow, I skipped school yet once again. I am so going to die la. Sigh. Doing my project tomorrow. I'm going to die la. last min JH backed out. Never mind. Was out with JH last night till 4.30 am. Talked and laughed. Poh asked if I like him again. I'm not sure actually. I told her I'm sick of everything. Yes. Indeed. I am sick of everything. ): Going to butter factory later at night after my project! (: I hope everything goes well. I've got no idea what to do. I think I'll have to change that particular shot though. I'll just see how things go. (: Butter factory, here I come! WOOHOO! ((: -- I admit, I missed you. I missed the times we used to share. Note the past tense too. I missed you. I'm utterly disappointed in you. Once again, you showed me how useless you are. Once again, once again. I swear to myself that I will not miss the times we had AS FUCKING FRIENDS. I swear. My mistake. Your lost. (:
Sweet loving escape.
5:40 AM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I'm blogging on this fine evening. I'm tired. ): School's been fine this week. I've been attending lessons. Haha! Or should I say I HAVE TO!? I received warning email. ): I should stop skipping lessons already. This is so bad. I feel busy. Have got a project coming up which is due next week. A script which is ALSO due next week. Yet Im still enjoying life. Haha. I was reading my past testimonials on friendster. I miss those times. M---, will you call me soon? M-----, will you stop calling me? ): I'm gonna have bad karma on me. yet, once again. ):
Sweet loving escape.
11:23 PM
Monday, May 22, 2006
I need to use my mac more often. Haha! Since now I've put my songs in to my mac. I have more reason to be using my mac. Haha. I need to get a mouse for my mac. Haha! Maybe one day I should. (: But if I'm not wrong, it's not cheap. ): I need to save money money money! I should start a new account. I think. MONEY MONEY MONEY! I feel so money faced. Haha. I have a deadline tomorrow. It's animation. ): I have to rush to the CG lab tomorrow after desmond's class then rush to complete my work. IF I'm unable to complete my work, I swear I'll be crying. So people, please hope that he will call. I will be happy. Definately. Haha! If not I'll be in a extremely bad mood. Was supposed to go for the big walk today. But we overslept. Then I suggested not to go. ): Missed it this year. Not supposed to. Haha. Never mind. There is always next year with jie this time round. (: I will miss my IBM for one week. My brother is taking my IBM for one week. ): That explains the reason why I actually finally transfer songs to my mac. Daniel(my classmate) helped me with my mac. I can use the internet as well as the msn on my mac now. (: I'm happy.
Sweet loving escape.
1:22 AM
Friday, May 19, 2006
MOS-ed last night. (: Went with Poh, Kayne, Maggi, Xiao Sin, Ben, Bernice and Cecilia( I think thats her name). Haha! Not bad not bad. I admit it was pretty boring at the beginning, but towards the end it was better. But BUT! Towards the end I got tired. Haha! Met someone there. Messaging him now. (: Not bad looking, got dress sense. (: Got age. Let me go crazy..
Sweet loving escape.
3:18 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Do I deserve this unconditional love from you? I'm sorry. I don't. But yet I'm taking. Yes. I admit I was happy. But, somehow, today. Something striked. Poh's right, I wouldn't want you to be close to me around my friends. I know that physical appearance is not everything, but it is something. Sigh. I don't know. I'm not fantastically pretty myself, yet I'm judgemental. My life's still in a mess. I have no idea what is going on or what will come. No idea should any mishap come upon me, what would I do. You said you'll be there, I'm sorry. But this is of a monetary issue. This is a psychological issue too. No idea what's going to happen, no idea how I'm going to face it. I feel everything crushing in onto me. I don't feel good. Yet, when I try to put this in words, I can't. I just can't. There is no exact thing of what's affecting me so much. It's just everything. I'm sorry to say, but you're part of this. You're understanding, giving me all the time I need/want. But I'm not understanding towards myself.
Sweet loving escape.
1:14 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
You've been sweet. Thanks. You brought the light in back to my life, a light I've believed to have been lost. Though I'm still considering, you're sweet. (: - Anyway, update update. Haha! mahjong-ed last night. I felt damn bad. But I was HYPER THROUGHOUT. Haha! Treated kayne, aj, kane and juan to macs breakfast because they said I have to. Haha! Oh well, slept in till about 6 before waking up to eat and rushed out to meet you. Sorry, I was late. Haha. Watched Poseidon. Not bad. It's like Titanic with more actions, more survivor and less romance. Haha! Though I feel like shit. I could not stop thinking about which part is animation and which part is real. I could not stop wondering how did they instill animation with real life. My gosh my gosh. I can't wait to head back to school! I know it's something about blue/green screen, but how would they know exactly where is everything situated? Oh well. Doing opening tomorrow. ): Not so bad, it's till 8. But still? There's Desmond on Monday. Haha!
I've been a happy girl. Thanks for making me happy. Thanks for being sweet. (:
Sweet loving escape.
2:02 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I took a day off on Tuesday. A day that I should not take, a day that I need to take. Since I've taken such a guilty day off, I should stop procrastinating. Time to get my ass working for this sem. (: There are tons to do. An assignment due tomorrow, a presentation due next week. I need to start bucking up for my schoolwork. I've been awfully lazy and behind the rest of the cohort. Time to start working deborah! (: Watch MI3 today. I would say it's not a perfect show, but it's not an awful show either. Not fantastic, but the sound effect as well as the effect/stunts were good. Though with expected storyline, it's kindna of a norm for action films. Right? Haha. Oh well, but it's worth my trip to the cinema. Having to take this blardy boring module, film history, I've come to appreciate the wonders of dialouges in films as well as surround sound. Trying to figure out what is going on in silent film is SUPER HARD. Having to look at the contrast of the blacks and whites is SUPER HARD TOO. In short, I love sound and colour. Though I know black and white film is sort of better because according to people, it's easier to see the contrast? I'm sad and sorry to admit, I can hardly see the contrast(unless it's those obvious ones). Today is the first film history clas that I stayed awake for the entire lecture. (: I feel proud of myself. Am supposed to meet poh and kayne in central soon. They are more than an hour late. Thankfully, I had to come home to change my battery, or else I think I'll be in central rotting, together with my ipod. Clubbing session should come soon. I suppose it should be next week. I realised that if friday is a public holiday, MOS will be playing trance on thursday night. No idea why. And I read the email from MOS that SMOOVE is not opened? No idea why either. Please, let me club next thursday. (: I'm off to steal food from my parents as well as to wait for poh and kaynes' call. -gone.
Sweet loving escape.
8:44 PM
Monday, May 08, 2006
I am pissed off to the max. Thanks a million. YOU SO MADE MY DAY TODAY.
Sweet loving escape.
2:01 AM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
I'm home on a Friday at 1am. It's even earlier than the weekdays. Haha. This is werid. I think I'm werid. But I'm going out at 1.30. But I'm a little lazy now. Haha. Oh well. Things have been going bad for me recently. I feel like I've lost a friend. I am affected by it. But yet I have no idea how to deal with it. Sigh. I never expected anything out of her. Never expected more. Perhaps deep down I wished for more, but I never wanted more. Simply because I know I'll lose her as a friend. Yet, my darkest fear surfaced. She drifted from me. We no longer updated each other about anything that's happening, we no longer meet up after work and school. No longer sit down and laugh about everything and anything under the sun. I'm sorry girl, for I've destroyed our friendship. Though I would really like to have it back to old times.
Sweet loving escape.
1:01 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP. I BLAME YOU. YOU WERE THE CAUSE OF IT. YOU STARTED THIS SHITHOLE. I FUCKING HATE MY FUCKING LIFE! MOTHER FUCKING FUCKED UP SHITHOLE. I DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE. I JUST FEEL LIKE VANISHING IN THIN AIR. I AM FUCKING SICK OF PUTTING ON A FUCKING SMILE IN SCHOOL AS WELL AS OUTSIDE. CAN'T I HAVE MY OWN FUCKING MOODSWING! CAN'T I FUCKING HAVE DAYS THAT IS DOWN?! MUST I ALWAYS BRING A SMILE TO EVERYONE? MUST I ALWAYS FUCKING LAUGH AND BE HYPER?! FUCK YOU! ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE! FUCK YOU! FUCK MYSELF!
Sweet loving escape.
1:31 AM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
PMS TO THE MAX. Don't ever meet me during my PMS period and on tuesdays after school. Animation has the tendency to make me go crazy. Not just pure crazy. Not happy crazy. Not madness crazy. Angry crazy. Pissed off crazy. CS does not make me happy. Chocolate Moose has lost its effect on time. I can only be happy for a while. Perhaps it was CS that took the effect away. UGH. I'm sorry to friends i gave attitude to. Just that everything is not going the way I want it to be. Just that I just LOVE to be in control of my life. Yet, for some reason, I am not. At all. Sigh. I need to do something to get control of my life soon. I feel pathetic. Did I mentioned pathetic? I meant EXTREMELY pathetic.Fuck.
Sweet loving escape.
11:37 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
I fell for you. My mistake. Sorry. I can't help falling for you. My mistake. Sorry. I've decided to continue to indulge in my mistake. My mistake. Sorry. Don't stop me from falling. My mistake. Sorry. -- Dinner was total sinful. All the desserts made me melt. Right on the spot. KTV-ed after that. Perhaps one fine day I will grab the mike. Perhaps. I'm just shy. Haha. Unlike me. But I am. Haha. -- Can't wait for meals later. I promise I will go on a strict diet after tomorrow. Haha. I promise. I have to. So people. If you see me eating alot. Please stop me. I haven't been going for my weekly exercise. Please stop me. I want to go for my weekly exercise soon. Friends please join. Let's have a fun night out! (:
Sweet loving escape.
4:41 AM
THE ONE
deborah
bisexual
turning 20 on 17th Decemeber Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Film and Media Studies myspace. ::
friendster.::
