Today is a day where I feel like being someone's pet. That someone who is really nice to their pets. Today, I woke up from the wrong side of the bed. Today, I came to work wanting to go home and sleep away everything. Today, I feel like I do not deserve all these, all these that people are throwing to me. No. Today and everyday, I feel like I don't deserve this. Not a bit. Not even a tiny winy bit.
I want and I crave for a basket full of chocolates. ):
Sweet loving escape.
10:06 AM
caught in the middle.
Sweet loving escape.
12:43 AM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Oh my gosh. I can't believe this is happening to me. I just set the alarm off early in the morning. I must have set the meow meow's ears deaf. Poor cat. Sigh. What a start.
So here I am digitizing yet again the tapes that I have not finished yesterday. Though it's not the most fun job ever, but it's better than having nothing to do at all. Haha. So I'm not exactly complaining. I'm typing on the mutlli coloured keyboard because I think it's made for editing but heck. It's making me confused by the colour.
I'm at the halfway mark of the second week of my attachment. Soon, I'll be heading to the FCP room to digitize some tape. God save me. They gave me an entire day to do that. I wonder how many tapes are there. Not only that, there must be some reason why they gave me the entire day to deal with that. But WHAT! Freak. Life been pretty straight forward nowadays. Days where I'll wake up early to get ready to work. Grab my breakfast for the day and OUT I GO! By the time I reach the yellow dustbin hanging by the lamp post, I'll throw whatever I have left in. Then it'll be a bottle of yakult. Soon, it'll be the bus followed by the mrt. Then after the mrt, it'll be the cig. Off I go! colleauge is here!
Sweet loving escape.
10:06 AM
Friday, March 23, 2007
Attachment started. I've been home early except for today, I reached home at 12 plus. Still, it is still considered early considering my past records. Attachment has been feeling relatively fine for the first week, not counting tomorrow. I've been treated well. I believe they are nice people. (: Walking to my workplace from Somerset MRT is not my favorite past time. Having to wait outside the office is not too. Thank god for Kane working so near me, a place that offers the seat for me. (: Ling's been treating me really nicely these days. Meeting me after work, buying breakfast before we leave. It's these small little things that make me happy. I meant what I said, I am happier these days. Now I wish for you to be happy. Got a tuition assignment for this Saturday. Can't wait to make my way there. Though it's going to be a walk from Somerset MRT again, I don't mind. Working 2 jobs. I wonder how it would be like. What if my attachment starts sending me on weekend shoots? What am I going to tell the student? MY student. (: Will I be exhausted from everything that is happening? I just hope I'm going to get support from everyone. I've got my parents, I've got AJ. What about the rest?
I'm currently at work doing nothing. No one is in the main office. I wonder where's everyone. I've got nothing to do. At all. And I don't really want to disturb my boss for nothing. But I guess I would have to. WHERE'S EVERYONE! ):
Sweet loving escape.
11:01 AM
Saturday, March 17, 2007
4 minutes to 10AM. I'm awake, awaiting to get ready to go to the zoo. Honestly speaking, I can't believe I just slept for 3 hours and woke up on time to wake AJ up to head to the zoo. (: Though she just left my house not too long ago, I do think about that girl. (: Let's hope everything will go well in the Zoo as well as on the way there. (: Can't wait can't wait!! - My parents came back at 8 am this morning. They touched down at 7.05am and by the time they reached home from the airport, it was 8am. I woke up at 9.15am. Woke up with my stomach so noisy I feel that it would cause noise pollution. Haha! Pardo me from the crappiness. Though I'm tired, I really really wanted to blog. Haha! - On Monday, I'm going to 55 Oxley Road for my darling attachment. Hee. Sounds fun to me. Wonering if flying kite would be on tomorrow. Whatever it is, today's Zoo is on, Monday's attachment is on. AHHH! My life is so exciting! I'm starting to miss my carefree life. Haha! Madness madness! BLAH! - Wake up AJ wake up!
It has been long since I last use my IBM laptop and I SWEAR I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE TO THROWING IT ON THE FLOOR LAST NIGHT! I was watching a dvd on my laptop and at the very last part, it just hung and refused to restart. I had to do illegal switch off SO many times. Even still, it didn't work. I had to unplug the power supply, take out the battery. Haha! I swear I wanted to throw the laptop on the floor, against the wall. - I'm so supposed to head down to work today. But lazy me is dragging time since the time I woke up. - Results are out. Thought I was going to do so bad I need to repeat but thankfully, I did not. Everytime I receive my results, I tell myself I have to do much better the next sem. But each sem it does not happen. I just need to work on it. Don't I? (:
Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think that she doesn't miss u? Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling. U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to her. Thinking if she ever cares about u. Rushing to the phone once it rings, hoping that it's her. Looking out of the window hoping that she will surprise u by appearing downstairs. Sitting in front of the television but thinking of her, missing the final episode of your favourite show. Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u were out together. Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future. Logging on to the internet, hoping to see her online. When u realise that she isn't online and did not return your page, u will start worrying if she is okay. Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess. It exposes u to loneliness. It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness. Sometimes it feels good to miss someone. U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for her. But missing someone and not knowing if she is feeling the same is terrible. U feel as if u are being left alone. So if u miss someone, tell her. At the same time, ask if they miss u. Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoia. If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know. If u miss her too, tell them. Don't let them wait...
Sweet loving escape.
2:43 AM
Home from all my activities today. (: My sister left. The room is alone. Felt heavy yet once again. Feel like the world is full of hypocritical acts. Myself not excluded. Feeling so lousy. Is being a hypocrite the only way to survive? Is it? I wish I know. I wish I have the answer to it. If people missed my previous post, I'll put up another one that is similar. - Conspiracy:
an agreement between two or more people to commit an act prohibited by law or to commit a lawful act by means prohibited by law; also ; the crime or tort of participating in a conspiracy - Imagine if you're being kept in the dark. People behind you planning something or having chats involving you. You have no idea what they are talking about. You have no idea what they are planning. Yet, you want so much to know all the things they are planning or talking about. What should you do then? Base on your knowledge on things you hear or should you just march up front to them and question. But should they deny, and you on yourself feel that they are definitely keeping things from you. What should you do then? Is that considered as a conspiracy? Correct me if I'm wrong. Should you be angry then? Should you remain as a dumb soul and just stay around, collecting information that you feel is so true? Or should you just walk away refusing to stay in a syndicate that is so full of backstabbing, gossiping and politic playing people? - Today, I thought of how if one day I'm going to have my own short film. I would do something that has got to do with unwed mothers. Not a proper idea as yet. But just a general idea. Not confirm though. No idea. No idea. No idea. No idea. No idea. - So today I will end my entry: I feel fucked.
Sweet loving escape.
2:01 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
Weeeeee...... I'm awake at this time without alarm clock or any mechanisms. Feeling proud of myself! (: Am taking a day off for a break today. Feel like taking a day to settle all my things. Physical and emotional matters to be settled BY TODAY! (: I believe if I were to set my heart and mind to it, I would be able to settle everything by today with or without any company. I've been dragging things too long now. I need to get things done NOW NOW NOW! - Today I woke up not feeling grouchy or anything. I woke up on the right side of the bed and am actually feeling energetic, but I guess if I were to just stay home. It will just drain all of my energy. So by evening, I wouldn't be able to achieve anything as usual and so there goes all my motivation day. Haha! (:
I think I'll probably have a few entries for today. Should I be so bored. hee. Waiting for some companion to wake up now.
Sweet loving escape.
11:17 AM
THE ONE
deborah
bisexual
turning 20 on 17th Decemeber Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Film and Media Studies myspace. ::
friendster.::
