Just 10 days after getting my pay, I'm broke. Forget about the blardy tuition. Canceling a trillion lessons for all sorts of reasons. It almost seems like she's canceling because she does not want to give me my pathetic pay of 180. This 180 is freaking hard to earn. My intern pay did not last my spending on AJ as a form of birthday present and I refuse to go by a month without buying something for my wardrobe. Haha. So yup. 10 days later, I'm left with 100 odd to spend for the month. ): Tell me I'm screwed. Not that I regretted spending on AJ or buying things, just that I've got 100 odd left. Oh I'm pathetic. If only my company would reimburse me all that I've spent for the shoot, props buying, etc. If only I can get my tuition pay. That would make me slightly richer. That would make it slightly possible for me to last through the month. ): Talking about money, I bought this pair of black pants yesterday. My first skinny pair of jeans. I have to admit, I am cautious about how I look in it. I have no idea. Though AJ and my sister thinks that it's ok, but somehow I think it shows my thunder thighs off. Don't ask me why I bought something that I do not feel good in, I just did and I walked out of the store thinking whether did I buy it on impulse. Nonetheless, I wore that funky pants out today. I took longer than usual to get out of the house. I changed 3 tops and 2 pairs of shoes. When I went out, I thought I looked funny. So today's pretty much a cautious day. I'm contemplating whether I should take a cab home after work to avoid meeting anyone. Haha! - Today I feel like bitching about my bitchy mother. I think she's either going through PMS or menopause. Whatever it is. She was such a bitch last night. Last night when I got home, she scolded me and warned me regarding the cigarette cases in my drawer. No. 1, she shouldn't be looking at my drawers because girls my age should have my own privacy. No. 2, it's not cigarette boxes, it's cigarette cases. One of which is my birthday present from my handphone shop boss's wife. Not that I use cigarette case, I just don't want to throw it away! Next, she scolded me because of the numerous lighters I have in my room. They are mainly in my drawer and a proper container. She threatened to burn my hair off if I don't throw it away. What the fuck. All these when I just got home. She's mad. Either trying to piss me off entirely or just trying to be a mother. Then I decided to be nice and not be angry with her. I decided to show her my shopping from Ikea and my black pants. She scolded me for buying a box to take up space. She said she spent money to create space to put my bags, I just want a proper place to put my bags, I just want to be organized and she scolds me for it?! Because she says she wants to mop the floor. My bags don't weigh a ton. She started scolding me a million times about money. Not like she took a look at my box and all. Ok. I'm whining like a baby here. But I was honestly angry with her. For no apparent reason, she just burst out onto me. - Piss off.
Sweet loving escape.
1:39 PM
Monday, June 25, 2007
Finally. AJ's birthday has arrived. (: Weeks of planning has finally been carried out be it last minute or not, we managed to hold one party for AJ and Angie. (: BBQ went on alright. Ice cream cake was like yum. I did not regret one thing about paying for that cake. Cake smashing was like WOW! (: Smash my own girl. Brought a balloon to my girl and allowed the others to freak her out. (: Though I would never know whether she will remember this party for life or not, I did try my best and put this together with devon. (: So though it's a 2 days 1 night thing, waking up in the morning was such a chore and we(Devon, Angie, AJ and I) head for breakfast and head towards Wild Wild Wet. The virgin time for all of us. The first ride, was like this cycling ride where we would have the overview of the whole park. Second was freaky. The white slide that everyone screamed at. The white slide where the screams can be heard from the chalets. And yes. I screamed. Fuck. I did not feel like my heart was coming out. I FELT LIKE MY WHOLE BODY WAS FALLING OFF THE FLOAT!!! OMG. Then. I took that 3 times. Haha. All of it feels the same. Though I had to admit, sitting it with AJ was like the worse. I think due to the weight combination and all, we almost went to the other end of the slide. All in all, FREAKY. The other slides were normal but the Tsunami ride made my breakfast roll in me. Tried to tan and all but the sun today was not good enough. OH OH OH! One thing I love, the BIG YAKULT PAIL which would be filled up and poured all on the people below. Each time the bell for that ring, you'll see people from all around that playpool run towards that one point and get hit by the water. Haha! Shiok water was nice too. Everything was nice. Everything was nice. Everything started off ok. Everything ended nice. (: So now, I have to get rest and ugh. work tomorrow. Freak. Will be heading out for some prop shopping. How sweet. ): Never mind. Everything will turn out fine. Because I'll be meeting my girl after work. Nothing can go wrong. (:
Sweet loving escape.
9:59 PM
Monday, June 18, 2007
I'm back at work. I came in for about an hour plus and I left the office to hunt for some props. All the way to Ang Mo Kio Industrial Park. When I reached there, I went from (literally) one end to the other. Under the scorching sun, it is not the most pleasant thing to do. Also, I really don't want to be seen as a weakling you know. So I persist on and did it. Walk walk walk. I realized that on Wednesday, I'll be doing the same walking. Tomorrow I'll be doing walks too. This time to Haji Lane. I swear my job is like a walking job. Shoot is on Thursday or Friday. Just one shot, but traveling till far. No idea yet. But I know for sure. After that, I'll be doing logging. ): For the shoot. While shooting, I was thinking the logger sure die. Now I know, I sure die. ): - I'm still sick. With the usual nose flowing and nose stuck issue. I have a pile of tissue next to me and I will finish all the tissue I have with me. I have a BIG packet on my table and I think I will finish it too. UGH. - Tomorrow IJ's going to have a campfire and I've got an invite. I'm still contemplating whether I should head down or not. Simply because the campfire starts at 7 and my work ends at 7. However, I might be taking a half day leave because I realized that the medication is like killing me as per normal. Making me so tired at work and unable to concentrate. Also, the air con in office is not helping my already-stuck nose. I'm still thinking. But I think I'll probably take a half day. Which means, I would need to fill up all the MC forms and give it to gunawan to sign. ): It's like a zillion. Off to work then.
Sweet loving escape.
3:57 PM
I'm down with a cold. Cold meaning flu plus cough plus fever. OMG. During the weekend. - Friday, sat and sunday all filled with getting sick. Not mentioning late Thursday night. Tomorrow when I get to work, I'll have LOADS to clear up. LOADS to do. I HATE PEOPLE ON HOLIDAY. I envy people on shoot. Haha! Am I weird. - My short term goal: I want to go into Mediacorp. I want to work there. I want to go there and LEARN LEARN LEARN THE HARD WAY. - Today, I feel motivated. Today I feel that I want to work so hard. Today, I feel vain. Today I did pore pack and did a mask. Today, I feel hyper. Today I went bbq shopping. Today, I feel happy. Yesterday, I feel happy. Everyday, I feel happy. Because AJ made my day. (:
Sweet loving escape.
1:23 AM
Thursday, June 14, 2007
3 days of shoot 3 days of pain. Last day was terrible. But last day ended good. Went for driving yesterday. (: My first practical lesson. I wonder when can I have my other one. I want to hurry hurry go get all my chops chops! hahahha! The instructor was nice. He was talking to me on and on. Fun. Real fun. - Aj's been a sweetie. Got a PSP. Got games. Being pampered by her for like no apparent reasons. And I'm wondering why I don't have bad PMS this month. Suddenly, I thought that why am I bored when I can play PSP? yeah. Why am I bored. UGH. - I'm so bored my entries don't make sense.
Sweet loving escape.
11:00 AM
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Today, it's morning shift for me. Today, I got reminded why I detested work for so long. Today I know why I took 3 days emergency leave and stay home. This is because there is NOTHING FOR ME TO DO IN OFFICE! Fuck. - I'm bored at work and I refuse to get up and walk to smoke. No. Not that I'm trying to quit, though I'm smoking less, I'm not trying to quit as yet. I'm just so lazy. I feel very laid back. I'm not tired. I'm just bored. But today, I'm surfing the net at ease. Brought my laptop and am sitting in a cozy corner using the internet. Currently waiting for this video called Paris in Prison to load. I think she's gorgeous. But I don't think she's drop dead gorgeous. She even reported early for her imprisonment. I really wonder what is she thinking. - Sigh. I'm so bored. So today I'm sitting in office awaiting for someone to say go out for lunch. But no. Lunch time is still far. Freak. This means I'm going to be bored for a long long long long long long long time. ):
Sweet loving escape.
11:51 AM
Monday, June 04, 2007
blah blah blah.
I slept in very early last night thinking I must wake up for work today. Freak. I came on time thinking great about being on time. Then I realized something. I realized that I am supposed to be on night shift today as well as tomorrow.
I felt like I should not come to work at night. Felt like I don't deserve being forgotten. Well I am. Not the first time, Not the first time. Not even at work. People just forget me. I'm just forgettable. I want to be remembered. For me. For the things I'm good at.
What am I good at?
Nothing.
Sweet loving escape.
10:38 PM
THE ONE
deborah
bisexual
turning 20 on 17th Decemeber Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Film and Media Studies myspace. ::
friendster.::
