Miss having a your shoulder there for me. Miss having you beside me in bed hugging me to sleep. Miss having to ask for a "hello" kiss. Miss having to ask for the goodnight message.
I know you don't miss me. I know you are happy without me. I know you are happy with your friends What I don't want to know is that I caused you stress. But I know.
Having myself to think back of all the laughter we share The first time we kissed at "Chopsticks" The time we did scouting together, What we talked about when we were walking back to your house. The times you lie on my leg and me doing your blackheads.
I love you and I need to let you go. May someone come by to test the reliability of Tarot Cards. I really do miss you. I'm sorry.
Sweet loving escape.
11:54 PM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
what goes around comes around.
One after another, one by one, alternating. Every one of my relationship is like this. I was mean to the previous one and now i get my retribution. Why do I still complain? Take it slow deb.
Had reunion dinner at my grandmother's place just now. Oh my gosh. I swear our status over there down graded. I don't know what to blog about. My feelings are mixed. Signing off.
Sweet loving escape.
9:38 PM
Friday, January 20, 2006
Flash settled. Storytelling settled.
I feel the load off my back. I've photography to do tomorrow. This sem is ending soon. I feel great! Can't wait, just can't wait for the holidays! Though I feel that this entire sem is like a holiday, but oh well.
By the way, I'm so glad I've got a visitor. I hope the "I hate you" person replies me. (: I'm bored and I would definately like to have some spark in my blog. This blog has been stagnant. I want to rest and watch my vcd.
To Chiasin and TY, Thanks for being there for me. Really, you guys touched me. We should hang out after school soon! (:
Sweet loving escape.
6:34 PM
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
It's been long since I last posted an entry. It's been long since I last had fun with Daryl.
Yesterday marked the end to our relationship. My eyes hurt, my nose hurts. I feel that suddenly, I lost everything. Everything's gone. No idea how to go about doing everything. No idea how to bring my soul out along with my body. I went to school today feeling souless. A totally stoned girl with goggy eyes. Not a nice scene but no choice. Caught 2 or less hours of sleep and had to wake up for ISSUES. I plucked out the courage to tell chiasin about the breakup. It was not easy. No one expected this except me. Everyone's first reaction was "Don't bluff." I wish I was lying. I wish everything was just a bad dream and all will be gone. No. My wishes never come true. Never. He did not come to school today. I was glad in a sense. I felt like I needed some time alone. I wonder if he would go tomorrow. Would he? No idea. I feel that whenever I get into a relationship that I put my heart into it, that person would somehow hurt me at one of the important timings. Heartless? Thoughtful? Depends on perspective. Me and my stupid mouth. I said I also wanted a breakup. Now that it happened to me. I feel like some loser crying her eyes out that it hurts so badly. I managed to pass through one whole school day. Everyone has this habit of asking me:"Where your boyfriend?" What boyfriend? I can only smile, laugh to hide everything away. Say nicely that we have broken up and yes. He dumped me. I like to tell myself. Things will be ok. Ok in a sense that I'll be fine and ok, not in the sense that we will get back together. I'm not sure whether I want to get back together. Maybe personal space seems nice.
But is too much of a good thing good?
Remembering the day at chopsticks.
Sweet loving escape.
3:26 PM
THE ONE
deborah
bisexual
turning 20 on 17th Decemeber Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Film and Media Studies myspace. ::
friendster.::
